By Cassie Dugan
It takes audacity to defy a concept that’s been written in stone for so many years- especially when you’re dealing with science. So call me audacious. There are some things in science that just cannot be translated to make sense of human relationships.
Probably the most popular of all, the “opposites attract” law, seems to be the one we like to relate to our relationships the most. We even use it to predetermine whether or not we will get along with people. For those who support this idea, that people whose personalities contradict each other are most strongly attracted, I pose one question: Why is it that you love your best friend? Odd question, I know, but humor me and answer. Does it sound like something along the lines of ‘we have a lot in common?’ It sounds like we are all preaching one idea, but living by the polar opposite.
In a relationship, be it romantic or not, we look for things we have in common with each other. It is a part of the human psyche to want to fit in and not feel like an outsider, which is why we do find so much comfort in people who share similar traits as ourselves.
According to webmd.com, there are actually certain characteristics that tend to be the same among successful relationships. These include physical attractiveness, money (income), desire for children, religion, class and education. The logic that rests here is that yes, of course it is possible for a hot lawyer with a Harvard degree and seven-figure income to fall in love and have a partnership with an average – looking diner waitress who dropped out of high school and lives off of tips. However, as much our hearts yearn to believe true love could reside in there somewhere, the chances of her snatching this dream man are slim to none.
Most times people mistake complementary characteristics as opposite characteristics. If one person likes to debate and the other doesn’t, then this may not necessarily be a bad thing. The debater could inspire more opinions in the non-debater and the non-debater could cool the debater’s head a bit. However, if you mix an apathetic person with an opinionated and outspoken person; sparks may fly, and not the Cinderella love story kind.
This all truly whittles down to us humans trying to put a formula or a rule-of-thumb to something that is beyond our comprehension: love. Love, especially once we progress through our teen years and into adulthood, seems to be the center of confusion among other things.
What feels right, what feels wrong, trying to peer into the opposite sex’s mind is just a gray area. And we humans can’t just leave something gray. It has to be black or white…or something close enough. We either stamp a question mark on it and deem it craziness, or give it some label or rule in attempts to make further sense of it. Why can’t we just leave it alone? Let it be. Drop your weapons, stop writing all those formulas and quit your over analyzing. Love is not a science, it’s a verb.