I Love You, Man

Males embrace the growing trend of “bromances”

By Darlene Pham
<dpham@hilite.org>

Juniors David Chiang and Lawrence Yeh have known each other since 5th grade. They first met at Chinese school, and according to Chiang, their years of experiences together have made them close friends. At first glance, they seem to be just another pair of friends, but get to know them, and a deeper relationship is revealed.

“It’s pretty much understood that we are inseparable, in a good way,” Chiang said via e-mail.

Chiang and Yeh have developed what, in modern terms, is called a “bromance.”  A “bromance,” or the close, non-sexual relationship between two males, is a recently coined term used especially in the media. Movies, such as “I Love You, Man” and “The Wedding Crashers”, and TV shows, like “Scrubs”

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER: Juniors Lawrence Yeh and David Chiang hang out after school. They have known each other since 5th grade and consider their friendship a “bromance.” SHOKHI GOEL / PHOTO

and “Bromance”, have drawn attention upon this close bond, and even have placed an acceptance to it.
According to Chiang and Yeh, they fully embrace their “bromance”.  “It is a connection and relationship that guys share that shed light on a new perspective of emotional and psychological release,” Chiang said

Yeh said he agrees and he and Chiang share a deeper bond than most other friendships. “We share the same thoughts and we understand each other the best out of anyone. We have a connection. Our humor is intertwined. Like, if I make a joke, no one else may get it, but David will be laughing,” Yeh said.
Chiang’s and Yeh’s “bromance” is not so unusual, according to school psychologist Jane Wildman. She said that most males tend to be more open emotionally now. “It’s not as macho as it used to be for some,” she said.

Health teacher Emily Good said society has somewhat created a misconception about how men should be. “Men are portrayed as ‘strong’ and ‘less compassionate’, where females are often depicted as the ‘weaker’, more ‘emotional’ gender, “ she said via e-mail.

Good said that this criticism could cause some men to struggle in displaying their emotions. “Unfortunately, some males still view this as a weakness,” she said.

“Bromance,”  while it provides a deep bond between two friends, has its pros and cons. Seniors Griffin Brunk and Jordan Chen also embrace their “bromance” and said that their friendship is important. “It’s good to have someone you can really trust, someone to be there for you when you need them,” said Chen. “Without that close friend, a lot of pressure can’t be released. There a lot of things you miss on too. The high school experience isn’t the same.”

Brunk said he agrees. “You miss on the aspect of life without that close bond,” he said.
There are, however, some negatives of being too close to one person. According to Good, it becomes more difficult to meet new people and try new experiences. “It’s difficult to rely on one person all of the time. Jealousy becomes an issue,” she said.

Yeh said he acknowledges this downside. “I can’t get any girls because they think I’m gay,” he said.
Good said she agrees that girls may become an issue with “bromances.”  “Girlfriends will typically get jealous because her boyfriend may want to spend more time with his friend than her,” she said.
Another negative, according to Wildman, is that close friendships can take away time spent with other relationships, like with parents or other friends.

Brunk, however, does not think there are any downfalls to partaking in a “bromance.”  “It doesn’t really take away from anything. It’s not exactly mutually exclusive. It only attracts things away if you make it attract,” he said. “My girlfriend doesn’t really mind.”

Despite the downfalls, Yeh said “bromances” are worth it. “All men should have a go at “bromance” with any one of their close friends. It’s really fun and it’s a great bond. David is my best friend ever,” he said.