Love created by more than chemicals

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By Lexi Muir
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A recent article from the Utne Reader called “The Future of Love: Kiss Romance Goodbye, It’s Time for the Real Thing” focused on making love “real” and taking the romance out of it. The article took what used to be all about romance and broke it down into science, making it “real” and more fitting for today’s lifestyle and beliefs rather than that of the twentieth century.

There was once a time when the human race believed in concepts like love. Love was happiness. It was bliss. It was full of smiles and happiness and could last for an eternity. Love was so powerful that William Shakespeare ultimately made an entire career writing about it. No one asked questions. No one tried to make up an equation to explain love. It was just accepted.

But the magic is disappearing. As the article states, marriage used to be designed to fit the social and economic needs of society and had little or nothing to do with love. If this is true, then marriage today must be a waste, right? Since no one can seem to fall and stay in love for more than a few years anyway, that must mean that no one can.

The article then goes on to chemically break down love and call it a “chemical experience.” It says that there are “chemicals of love” which are addictive “amphetetamine-like” elements that are the cause of the feeling that used to be called love. Science once again explains one of the last aspects of life to remain a mystery and in doing so sucks the romance and bliss out of it.

Apparently, there are even people who are love addicts, falling in love over and over again. This “love disease,” which was described as progressive and fatal, is being compared to alcoholism and drug addiction, two serious health problems in the world.

So my question is this: When did falling in love become a disease? From a broader perspective, why does love, and everything else in the world for that matter, need to be scientifically broken down so that we can understand it the same way we understand a chemistry experiment? Why do we need science to prove everything we believe in?

Not only has science taken the mystery out of love, it has also taken it out of almost every other aspect of life. Recently, scientists have worked to create a way to “map out” the genes of children. They believe that someday they will be able to inject the fetus with certain genes to ensure that the child is born a certain sex and even with certain features. When this becomes real, what happens to those parents who tell their child to be whatever they want to be, to dream big and to fight for what they want? Will human drive and determination someday become a moot point because the successful men and women are decided at childbirth? What will happen to society then, when working hard will no longer get people what they want?
If science has gone this far, I fear for what lies in our future. How far will science go to uncover the mysteries to everything in life? How far are they willing to go and what are we willing to accept? Life used to be beyond science. What we couldn’t explain we accepted. We had magic and mystery in our lives that kept us guessing.

Nowadays, however, we know everything. We want answers and we want them now. Why does this happen? How does it happen? We can’t accept anything for what it is but instead, we pick it apart in order to completely understand it. We literally break it down to a science. Where’s the magic in that?
And now that we have solved the mystery of love, childbirth and the future with a chemical combination, what’s next? Will commitment be thrown into the trash because love is just science and has nothing to do with feelings for another person? And when no one believes in the enchantment of love and commitment, where do the people who still believe in the magic go? Where do they run to escape from this faithless society? Science has taken statistics and studies and beaten the magic of life out of the human race. Love has become something factual and predictable rather than magical and unexpected.

Love should not be explained, it should just exist. It’s the thrill between two people, the hope that we can someday be happy and sometimes, it’s the only thing we can hold onto for sanity in the world. It’s our breath when we feel that we are drowning in life and can’t reach the surface for air. It’s the mystery that no one can understand or feel until they experience it for themselves.

Love is a scary thing, but that’s life. Taking chances, falling in love and even dying are parts of life, and there are lessons to be learned through all of them. In a world where everything is so planned out and over-explained, magic can give us hope. It’s magic that brings us our last chances, our first kisses and our healing hearts. It’s magic that makes us believe in things like love and life after death. It’s magic that keeps us alive.