When sophomore Ben Gormley’s sister Emma returns home this year from the University of Chicago, she will find that her family’s holiday traditions will be just as she left them.

“I’ve had more time to myself, but since she comes home during the major holidays, our holidays and traditions do not change very much; however, ever since my sister went to college, I haven’t been able to see her as much, and we are not as close as we used to be,” Gormley said.

Gormley and his family are not alone. During holidays in which they are given breaks, many college students have the choice of returning home to spend time with their families or celebrating by themselves. Their choice directly affects the family dynamic at home and whether or not family traditions are altered.

According to DeAnn Shrewsbury, family consumer science teacher, college students who do not return home during the holidays do not have a major effect on a family’s traditions and can actually have a positive effect.

“(Family members at home) just have to make adjustments based on what they used to do. There’s an empty place, whether it’s at the dinner table or around the tree,” Shrewsbury said. “There will be an emptiness there that can actually pull the parents and siblings who are left at home closer together.”

For Gormley and his family, however, this is not a problem. Gormley said his sister, who will be coming home this Thanksgiving, frequently returns home, allowing for the family to bond as a whole and keep traditions the same.

“I don’t think our holiday traditions have changed much. I think some of the traditions are things that (Emma) looks forward to when she comes home. Her school schedule is on a quarter system, so most times she gets home early during breaks like the holidays,” Gormley’s mother Sara said.

Many times when siblings return home after long absences, they find that the family dynamic has changed in their absence. Parents and siblings can see changes in the college students as well as treat them differently.

Shrewsbury said, “(College students) become more independent and feel like they need their parents less than before. Parents have a hard time adjusting to that. They don’t have to ask for permission to do things and it’s very hard to come back into the family situation, where parents still think of them as somebody who has to ask for permission.”

Sara said that she understands her daughter’s change in terms of independence but still realizes that her daughter misses the routine and comfort of their home.

However, even without the college sibling at home, the dynamic between the family members left at home is altered, allowing sometimes for closer bonding between those still at home.

Gormley said, “After she moved out, it was basically just me and my mom then. We were able to get closer because of that.”

Shrewsbury said that the family dynamic can be negatively affected.

“A lot of the time the parents get closer together when the child leaves because they miss the child. Other times they get pulled apart because the mother finds activities to occupy her time while the father is gets more focused on his job.”

Gormley said his sister’s absence can be both a positive and negative experience.

“I like when she comes home because I get to see her again after her being away for a long time, but when she’s gone. I feel like I have more freedom, time and space to myself,” he said.

Shrewsbury said that cases such as Gormley’s are very common.

“(The feelings) depend on the relationship they had beforehand. If they were closer to that brother or sister, they can feel a void and emptiness and miss them. A lot of times my own kids talk about how important their older brothers and sisters are in helping them with problems because they talk to them rather than their parents,” she said. “Some of the younger siblings left behind like it, particularly if they are a middle child. They then become ‘older’ and a leader of the other siblings.”

Overall, Gormley and his mother said they agree that his sister coming home is a special occasion.

“We’re all much nicer to each other when she comes home because of the fact that we haven’t seen each other for a long time,” he said.

“The (child) who goes away to college, once he or she gets used to the college routine, usually finds that they like being out on their own,” Shrewsbury said. “But (families should) just remember that it’s going to take adjustment on everyone’s part, probably mostly from the family at home.”