By: Bennett Fuson <[email protected]>

Massachusetts Avenue is the pinnacle of an independent downtown lifestyle. The street itself promotes local business that is geared toward all but is enjoyed by a select few. And no other business on the strip quite represents this fact like Aesop’s Tables.

Aesop’s Tables is the bookend restaurant on the avenue, so it’s hard to miss. Yet it seems to be unnoticed, or at the very least, under-noticed. During my visit, my dinner companions and I dined with only four or five other diners. Although space-wise this was not an issue, since the restaurant only has probably 16 or 17 tables, it was certainly what I (wrongfully) took as a sign of poor quality.

A-ha, a plot twist! Aesop’s Tables might have been nearly empty for various reasons, but food quality was not one of them. I’m a culinary crusader who enjoys countless dishes from countless categories, and I can confidently say that this is the best Mediterranean cuisine I’ve had in Indiana, if not in the United States. (Sorry, America, but you just don’t quite match up to the authentic dish). Mediterranean, like Chinese, is a hit-or-miss food category because few succeed. Aesop’s Tables can confidently consider itself one of the select few that have that Zeus-given talent.

Like in any respectable European meal, coffee was an initial and main component. I ordered a chocolate cappuccino, figuring that since chocolate is good and coffee is good, then by the transitive property the two combined must be great-borderline awesome. The coffee was accompanied by pita bread and hummus, which is always a fan favorite. It’s hard to go wrong with hummus and a Greek salad, and since Aesop’s Tables made no errors, they are hardly worth mentioning.

The entrée, the one item that was most desired, arrived with very little fanfare, especially when it deserved so much. Only a fool would not order something Mediterranean, something Aesop must have had in mind when creating the sparsely populated menu. I ordered the Ultimate Gyro (pronounced “yeh-row,” not like the circular motion), a combination of beef and lamb mixed with mozzarella and feta cheeses, along with onions and Dijon mustard. However, I substituted the mustard for tzatziki, a traditional Greek cucumber-yogurt sauce, since it is common knowledge that a gyro without tzatziki is like a food critic without dry, subtle humor. The sandwich was by far one of the best gyros I have ever had, on account of the cheeses and tzatziki combination, but the sandwich had the consistency and stability of Mitt Romney’s political views. (For those not interested in political banter, my sandwich would not stay together. Now you have learned something about food and current events!)

Great food is made better by great atmosphere, and unfortunately, Aesop’s Tables was lacking in that department. Our waiter was fairly pleasant but scarcely seen, a grievance that seems to be more common everyday. Thus, I had to occupy myself by looking at the completely abstract-random pictures of animals on the wall, especially an odd assortment of monkeys and cats. The odd wall décor, along with a lack of customers, gave the restaurant a less-than-desirable atmosphere, a certifiable blow to what could have been a perfect setting for Aesop’s Tables.

Aesop’s Tables is a chance to eat great food, but prepare to enjoy only the food. The actual restaurant leaves much to be desired regarding a pleasant atmosphere, so bring guests that will not bring down the already low mood. This alone is the only factor that keeps Aesop’s Tables from being the ultimate culinary success story.

SUMMARY
Atmosphere: B-
Food: A+
Service: B
Price Range: $15 to $25
Overall: A-
Location: 600 Massachusetts Ave.