Despite the nature of Thanksgiving, some students choose to spend the holiday away from their families and with friends instead

By Darlene Pham
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According to senior Terry Liu, like many people here, Thanksgiving means getting together with people she loves, and that is exactly what she did last year. However, it wasn’t her family that she spent the evening with, but rather at her best friend’s house.

“They are like family to me. I had dinner with them and then after, we played Taboo,” Liu said.

According counselor Becky Stuelpe, Liu’s situation is not so unusual. “Every family is different. Some families don’t place a big emphasis on holidays. Some families do not get along. Every family has different dynamics and you have to look at each case individually,” she said.

For Liu, she said she chose to spend the time with her friend and her family because she felt more comfortable with them.

“My family always goes to a big gathering. I always feel like I don’t really fit in, so I’d rather spend it with people I feel comfortable with,” Liu said.

Liu is not the only student here who chooses to spend Thanksgiving with friends instead of family. Sophomore Roy Chen also spent Thanksgiving last year at a friend’s house. According to Chen, however, he chose to go to a friend’s house because his parents do not really celebrate the holiday. “In the past, they would just treat it as another fall break, not really a holiday,” he said.

While it may seem like Chen’s decision could put a strain on his family relationships, he said his parents do not mind him spending time with others.

“They thought it was good that I was spending time with my friends and stuff,” he said.

Stuelpe said it really depends on the situation. “It depends on the family’s perspective on the holiday. If Thanksgiving Day is just another holiday, then there probably won’t be a strain. But if it is viewed as a strong family time, it can hurt it,” she said.

Chen said that even if his family did celebrate the holiday, he would still spend it with his friends. “We’re the only family members in America, so there wouldn’t be many relatives to spend the time with,” he said.

While Chen may still choose to not spend the holiday with his family, Stuelpe said family time is still important for reducing stress.

“I think family relationships are important to everyone. If it is a bad relationship, it could really add a level of stress to students,” she said.

According to www.apahelpcenter.org, a website sponsored by the American Psychological Association, the stress can not only cause emotional consequences, but also physical and cognitive consequences.

Liu said although she thinks family relationships are important, people also need space. “I think going to friend’s house gives you space. You don’t have to cluster around your family all the time. I mean, you see them every day anyway,” she said.

According to the site, the holidays can be a great source of stress on family relationships. One in five Americans are worried that holiday stress could affect their health. Thirty-six percent eat or turn to alcohol to relieve their stress, while 45 percent say they exercise to get rid of it. The other 44 percent say they turn to religious and spiritual activities to cope with the stress.

For those who don’t spend time away from family during the holidays, there are ways to survive the curious relatives, according to Stuelpe.

“You really just have to put it in perspective,” she said. “If it’s Thanksgiving Day, it’s just one day. People aren’t asking you what seems to be nosy questions to bug you, but because they are interested in you as a person. So even though they bug you, you just have to remember that it’s not coming from a bad place.”