Students look to friends of opposite gender for friendships instead of relationships

By Priya Patel
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Often, people do not believe that a single, eligible male can be close friends with a single, eligible female; however the “just friends” phenomenon is actually commonplace. Junior Tyler Hardcastle and Sophomore Katherine “Katie” Cheesman have been best friends for the past year, but said they feel nothing romantic for the other.

Hardcastle said all of their friends know they are just friends, and no one really bothers them with the misconception they may be a romantic item. “We’re friends. We tease each other a lot and do things together all the time, but it’s nothing more. We’re basically like brother and sister,” Hardcastle said.

Hardcastle and Cheesman met at church in the church band they play in. Since that has required much extracurricular dedication, they often spend a great deal of time together. “We’re always together doing different things for church that we ended up becoming really close,” Hardcastle said.

According to interpersonal relations teacher Lila Torp, it is not uncommon to have friends of the opposite sex that mean nothing more than any other friend of the same sex. “It’s just a perception that (boys and girls) can’t be friends without anything extra going on,” Torp said.

Though Torp admits sometimes teenagers’ judgment are often clouded with hormones, she said she still feels platonic friendships are an imperative part of life. “Even then, friendship is an excellent way to understand the opposite gender, because I think we think and communicate differently, and if you don’t have someone to trust who can provide honest feedback in troubles and help you understand the other gender, it becomes hard,” Torp said.

“Not all friendships are going to (become romantic), and it’s annoying when people jump to conclusions about that because it puts undue pressure on dating, but I do think it’s really good to have guy friends because it helps to have the guy perspective on things,” Cheesman said.

Cheesman said though she does look to Hardcastle or other male friends from the friend group for more honest opinions, she entrusted all of her friends to tell her their true feelings on the subject. However, she does agree that more often than not, she will get the most straightforward answers from the male friends in the group.

Cheesman said, “It is great to know that when I ask him for an honest opinion, he’ll tell me what he really thinks, instead of trying to spare my feelings.”