Megan Xia
Megan Xia & Abigail Lee
Junior Luke Boyce would describe his identical twin brother, junior Andrew “Drew” Boyce, as a built-in best friend. The two of them share a multitude of interests and have many friends in common, and they’ve always gotten along exceptionally well. However, Luke said these similarities between Drew and himself can result in difficulties in social situations.
“We are definitely both very energetic and positive people so our personalities are similar and sometimes it is difficult to establish that independence,” Luke said. “However, I think it’s all about finding the little things that are different about us.”
“(Being an identical twin) has helped me kind of find ways to try and be an individual person and have an individual personality,” Luke added. “Also, (I find ways) through other activities that I do separately from my twin, such as Senate and theater. I like having a space where I do things with him, but I also like my independence.”
Luke’s desire for relative independence from his identical twin is not unique. According to Psychology Today, development of separate identities is essential among siblings—especially twins. Due to being the same age and looking either similar or identical, there are numerous expectations placed on twins, and in order to shed unrealistic suppositions, forging individualistic personalities is essential.
Drew said, in addition to difficulties establishing independence, there can be a heightened sense of comparison between Luke and himself.
“I feel like, because we do (many of) the same thing(s) and because we are both in show choir, people do compare us a lot and get us mixed up,” Drew said. “But for the most part we have aspects of (our) personalities that (are) different from (each other’s). I would call myself more extroverted at times whereas I would say he is a little more focused on his academic studies at times. (However), the comparison has always been there.”
This experience is not exclusive to identical twins. Junior Aparna Prasad said she is consistently compared to her fraternal twin sister, junior Anjali Prasad.
“Sometimes I feel like people think (Anjali and I) have the exact same interests,” Aparna said. “(They) think we like the same things and perform the same ways. But I think people sometimes don’t realize that we’re our own (people) and we shouldn’t be compared to each other.”
Anjali said she agreed with Aparna, and added that even she can sometimes compare herself to her twin sister.
“I think people kind of use Aparna as a ruler for how I do (in different areas). That’s also something I do a lot. It’s kind of annoying when other people do it,” Anjali said.
Luke expressed a sentiment similar to Anjali’s, and said he and his twin struggle especially with academic competition.
“Academic comparison is a big thing that me and Drew struggle with. It’s like making sure that we understand that we both have different strengths and weaknesses,” Luke said. “We are both very good students, but there have been times where we both got back our tests and one of us has gotten a better grade than the other. It is sometimes hard to put that into perspective, but I always just remember some things he does better on and I will do better on other things. It all evens out in the end.”
Differences Do Exist
According to IB Psychology teacher Sandy Gardner, there is a genetic explanation for the inherent comparison and similarities between twins.
“Twins do have similarities in brain cortical function and structure,” Gardner said. “However, twin brains are not identical, and differences in environment and unique experiences in life will create different brain patterns—especially as twins approach adolescence and into adulthood. (Their) shared sense of self may come from growing up at the same time and rate with a very common family environment.”
Aparna said it’s important to emphasize these differences as much as possible.
“Sometimes I feel like people think (Anjali and I) have the exact same interests,” Aparna said. “(People usually) think we like the same things and perform the same ways. But I think people sometimes don’t realize that we’re our own (people) and we shouldn’t be compared to each other.”
Gardner said she can understand Aparna’s opinion and has observed similar viewpoints among the twins she has as students.
“Twins definitely can—the operative word being ‘can,’ since not all people are explaining the same way—struggle with shared identity with their twin,” Gardner said. “I know that the twins I have had in class definitely value when teachers can tell who they are visually and what their name is compared to their twin. The twins I have spoken with do love the closeness with their twin but when there are differences they want others to recognize them.”
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Common Ground
Despite the differences between Drew and Luke, the two of them tend to have a lot of friends and interests in common. Drew said, although there are occasional difficulties navigating social situations, he enjoys the time he spends with his brother and their mutual friends.
“I think we do (many of) the same things,” Drew said. “We take the same classes and we run the same social circles. Sometimes it is kind of difficult to (do so), but I think of (Luke) as a built-in best friend, so that makes it kind of easy to just be with him. (Identity crises) have happened, but it’s not a big deal.
“I love (being in) the same (friend group),” Drew added. “I love being able to hang out with (Luke) on the weekends, and whenever we get together to do something, it’s simple (because) we are (both) going to the same place.”
According to Gardner, there is a phenomenon that explains the elevated sense of belonging twins feel when they’re together.
“(The) Social Identity Theory is the idea that we have various social identities that we associate with such as a religious affiliation, culture, sports team, music club, etc.,” Gardner said. “This becomes our ‘in’ group and everything else in that context is our ‘out’ group. The purpose of this is based on our needs as social beings and also to help us survive and be protected. If twins see themselves as one unit, based on Social Identity Theory, it would be due to a sense of belonging and connectedness which we naturally feel with our family. Twins would feel an elevated sense of in-group belonging and protection with a person they share similar time, space and even an in vitro environment with.”
Anjali said she, like Drew, loves having friends in common with her twin sister.
“I think we have a lot of friends in common, but we definitely have our own people,” Anjali said.
Drew also said that meeting people through his twin is incredibly convenient.
“Something that has become easier is to just make friends,” Drew said. “(It’s easier) to just connect with people, because it’s like the people that he meets are people that I meet and vice versa. We have been able to create larger groups of friends and larger groups of people that we know just because it’s like two people and one friend group. It’s easier to make friends.”
On the topic of friendship, Luke said, although there are negative parts to having a twin sibling, the benefits heavily outweigh the drawbacks.
“(These details were never) super annoying, especially as kids,” Luke said. “It was good to have a built-in best friend.”
Anjali said she agreed with Luke’s opinion.
“Having a built-in person that can relate to everything you’re going through is really helpful,” Anjali said. “And I love having someone to talk to wherever you go.”
Aparna said her twin could understand her in entirely unique ways.
“(My favorite part about having a twin) is being able to have a best friend since day one,” Aparna said. “We just share experiences with each other and understand each other in a way that other siblings don’t. I never really feel alone.”