For junior Brian Buczkowski, having a parent who teaches at this school—as well as having a parent who teaches at an elementary school—means having a distinguishing feature among students and teachers at this school.

“Whenever people hear my last name, they’ll be like, ‘Is your dad the math teacher?’ or ‘I used to have your mom in elementary school,’” Brian said.

Brian’s experience is not uncommon. According to a 2018 study done by The Brookings Institution, around 48% of public school teachers in the United States have one or more children. Sophomore Ryleigh Markus, whose mother teaches Algebra and Geometry at this school, also said her mother’s profession brings her some recognition, primarily among other staff at this school.

“I remember the very first day of freshman year, I was going up to my mom’s classroom and a math teacher comes in and goes, ‘Is that Mini Markus?’” Markus said. “And it’s so awkward, because I have no idea who you are. I don’t remember them or if I ever did meet them before.”

Setting academic expectations

The distinctions don’t stop at extra recognition; some differences in approach arise at the academic level. With teaching and parenting come two very different sets of academic expectations, according to math teacher Matthew Buczkowski.

“For your own kids, Mom and Dad can set the bar, whereas as a teacher, ultimately, I don’t get to set that bar,” Buczkowski said, “so I just kind of reinforce and try to help them to understand where they want to get and then try to help them get there.”

According to Brian, contrary to popular belief, his dad’s profession doesn’t elicit any more pressure from his parents than other students when it comes to his grades.

“My parents, they’re sort of strict about my grades, but I’m also not one to let my grades drop too much, so it kind of doesn’t affect me that much,” Brian said. “I don’t think he expects me to totally excel in math that much. As long as I have good grades, he doesn’t care at all.”

Markus said her mom holds similar expectations for her and often used to help her with her schoolwork.

“Obviously, she hopes that I get good grades, like every parent would, but zeroes and missing assignments are, like, unacceptable in my house,” Markus said. “She would stand over me and watch me do my work, and so usually I get pretty good grades since she sits me down and makes me study with her.”

Additionally, Markus said having a parent teacher comes with other benefits, too.

“I get free rides to school every single day, which is fun. I also get inside help on all my work during SSRT,” Markus said. “My mom can just call the teacher and I can just go and get help.”

Brian also received a significant amount of academic support from his dad in the past; a major benefit of having a parent teacher, according to him, is being able to discuss in-depth questions about his schoolwork at a moment’s notice.

“Whenever I need help with math, he definitely comes through whenever I ask him,” Brian said. “I can always go to him if I ever have a question over something. Instead of using Google or searching stuff up, he can give me real-time, specific advice. (My parents) are able to help me more with school and give advice because they’re always—especially my dad—around kids my age all the time.”

Although Buczkowski has certain expectations, he said he hasn’t had to worry too often about his son’s grades and encourages inviting independence in his son’s schoolwork.

“His freshman year, we started to take the reins off a little bit. His sophomore year, I kind of witnessed him having good habits and good grades, and quite frankly, I very seldom talked to Brian about (his grades) this year,” Buczkowski said. “It’s one of those things I’ll kind of look at his grades and depending on where they are, right now, he’s doing a great job. So I just congratulate him and tell him to keep up the good work.”

Considering the future

According to Science of People, children were more likely to pursue an occupation given their parents worked in that occupation. Conversely, Buczkowski said despite coming from a family of educators, his decision to become a teacher was one he developed through his own experiences. 

“My dad was a teacher, my mom was a teacher, my older brother’s a teacher,” Buczkowski said. “Growing up, I didn’t want to be a teacher, but then it just kind of worked out that way as I went to school, trying to figure out what I wanted to be. I didn’t really know I wanted to be a teacher until I student-taught PE and math.”

Similarly, Markus said she was inspired to pursue teaching by her own experiences, though she felt influenced by her mother’s profession.

“I did this teaching thing at Ball State and I saw the Ball State Studio Band, and I thought that was cool,” Markus said. “I think I sort of figured out I wanted to go into teaching because I like music. I like working with little kids and teaching how to play the xylophone. I also just like the (stories) my mom has as a teacher, they’re really interesting. I want to have those stories.”

Brian said he doesn’t feel inclined by his parents to pursue a certain career path.

“I probably don’t want to go into teaching. I hear a lot of their perspective on things, and I don’t think I have the strength in me to deal with things that teachers do,” Brian said. “Personally, I would probably want to go into marketing. My parents are good with that and support me.”

Buczkowski said he ultimately encourages both of his sons to pursue what they excel at and what they enjoy.

“While I do think that Brian could be a good teacher—I think he’s patient, he’s caring and he’s got a lot of positive aspects—I do worry about the direction that education is going,” Buczkowski said. “If he wants to be something else, I’ll definitely encourage him to do that.”

Long-term lessons

Buczkowski said his respective responsibilities as a teacher and a parent have merged as time goes on, to where he often finds himself using teaching strategies with his son or taking ideas from parenting and applying them in his classroom.

“Early on, I was only a teacher, and then I became a parent, and now a lot of times I’ll look at these kids, these students, and I’ll think, ‘How would I want someone to interact with my son if the tables were turned?’ So I think a lot of times, it’s really similar,” Buczkowski said.

Both Brian and Markus agree they’ve learned valuable lessons from their respective parents, both in school and outside of academics. 

“I think a big thing my dad’s taught me is that it’s ok to fail sometimes, and it’s better to try and fail than not try at all,” Brian said. “Kind of just not to expect perfection from yourself all the time.”

Markus said her mom’s teaching not only helped her improve in her academics, but also her personal character; learning more patience has been the most rewarding takeaway, according to her.

“Since I’m a tutor, I need to learn how to be patient and to explain things in little details so people can actually understand what I’m saying,” Markus said. “Especially when there’s people struggling in things I find simple, I can’t just say something like ‘Oh, that’s easy.’ I have to sort of make it simpler for them. I just teach the same way my mom taught me.”

Ultimately, Buczkowski said the biggest lesson he wants his son to take away from him is the importance of striving to become the best and most fulfilled version of yourself.

“It’s not about comparing yourselves to others. It’s about figuring out who you are as a person and just trying to be the best person you can be,” Buczkowski said. “Ultimately, everybody’s going to have pros and cons and limitations and if you can do the best that you possibly can, if you can control the controllables and be the best version of yourself, then I don’t know how I can ask anything more from my boys.”