It’s an unsavory topic, almost sensational, but it’s something we all need to hear. This March, two high school football stars in Steubenville, OH were convicted of raping an intoxicated teenage girl and sharing photos and video of the assault via texts and social media sites. In early April, a Canadian teenager committed suicide after being bullied for her “promiscuity,” a rumor spread by the boys who raped her while she was drunk. They too circulated photos of the rape online, but at the time, police deemed that there was too little evidence to press charges.

As these stories unfolded, I became aware of a serious confusion of priorities when it comes to rape. According to the Center for Disease Control, one in five women report having been raped, and nearly half of these assaults occurred before the victim is 18. Despite the prevalence of this crime, too many people ignore rape or downplay its seriousness. In the recent cases, I was disgusted by the victims’ peers who, beyond refusing to prevent the rapes and defending the perpetrators, bullied and blamed the victim. This hypocrisy and cruelty reflects a widespread mindset that rape is the victim’s fault, especially if drugs are involved, but we cannot lose sight of the criminality and inhumanity of rape. We have to learn to recognize rape and when faced with those situations, act with justice and compassion against this violence.

First, we have to know what rape is. Last year, the FBI updated the definition of rape to cover any kind of sexual penetration without the victim’s consent, whether the victim is forced, threatened, unaware the act is occurring or too mentally disabled to consent. Unfortunately, Indiana state law still limits this definition to exclude same-sex rape, which it labels as “criminal deviate conduct.” Both rape and criminal deviate conduct are felonies in Indiana, with punishment ranging up to life imprisonment.

Allow me to point out now what that definition doesn’t say. It says nothing of the victim’s sexual history, nor his level of intoxication, nor how much clothing she wore. Notice my ambiguous pronoun use – it does not distinguish the gender of the victim.

None of these things make rape any less wrong. I come from probably the most conservative background imaginable when it comes to clothing coverage, drugs and sex, but that doesn’t mean I believe people of other lifestyles should be mentally, physically and emotionally traumatized. If dressing modestly puts me at less risk of rape, I’m grateful for it, but that’s not the point. Women have been raped in every era and culture, and no one can prove or guarantee that more clothes means no rape. Similarly, being sexually active is not an invitation to every sexual advance. Intoxication past the point of being able to resist or consent to sexual advances is dangerous – according to a University of Hawaii study, 54 percent of rape victims were under the influence of alcohol – but while the decision to drink beyond control is a poor one, it is not cruel or malicious. Why, then, are we more ethically disturbed by the victims of rape than by rapists?

None of these factors make a person deserving of rape, no more than sleeping with the window open justifies home invasion or walking in a dangerous neighborhood at night justifies murder. Nothing changes the fact that rape is a horrible act of cruelty, selfishness and violence.

So rape is wrong. Rape is a crime. We’ve all learned this; we all understand this. And yet, instances like those in Steubenville and Nova Scotia still occur in our civilized society, where young men took advantage of unconscious girls, while their friends and peers watched. Where violating, humiliating photos and videos circulated like the latest viral hit, while adults turned a blind eye. Where the success of a football team took precedence over a girl’s well being. Where some boys could call a girl “promiscuous” and get license to rape, where she was bullied for their crime until she hanged herself. Where somehow, it was funny.

Next week, we will all leave this school for the summer. Whether at a party in July, in a new college dorm, or at another point in our futures, some of us will undoubtedly be at risk of becoming victims, bystanders or even perpetrators of rape. Don’t let it happen. Don’t blame the victims or defend the people who hurt them. Don’t pretend you don’t see.

It is up to us to recognize the crime, and challenge it. The only possible excuse for the teenagers who committed or enabled the assaults on those girls is that they didn’t realize it was rape. Perhaps, because she couldn’t say “no,” they all assumed she would have said “yes.” In this serious case of mal-education, let me be absolutely clear: If a person, male or female, does not consent or is physically incapable of consenting to sex, it is rape. And no one – regardless of how much they drink, how sexually active they are, how little they wear – no one deserves to be raped. End of story.

Hafsa Razi is a managing editor for the HiLite. The views in this column do not necessarily reflect the views of the HiLite staff. Reach her at [email protected].