By Bennett Fuson
<[email protected]>

This past election season I spent what little spare time I had planted in front of the television. Yes I know, I should have probably spent time studying or doing homework or what have you, but it’s water under the bridge now. As I sat and watched political history unfold in all its glory, I couldn’t help but notice that amid all of the elections and scandal, certain states were particularly drawn to turmoil.

Alaska, Georgia, Minnesota: each of these states has had either a gubernatorial or congressional election debacle. We, as a state, were lucky; our politicians were either liked enough by a majority or the opposite. So as a passive bystander, I have a suggestion not only for the embattled states but for those who were fortunate enough to sit back and watch.

Congress, as a whole, should be run like the NBA draft.

What I’ve noticed is that at the core of every scandal is money. Not just the money that the politicians in question pursue, either. Money that could very well be used to improve states and the lives of its citizens is instead used to stem the scandal and play damage control. Now here’s the connection: whenever an NBA (or NFL, but we’re sticking with basketball – ‘tis the season) player does damage, irreparable or close to it, his general manager and team releases his contract. At that point, another team could pick him up, or he could lose his contract.

Now we would have a government by the people, for the amusement of the people! Blagojevich got you down, Illinois? Release his contract! There’s always hope that Alaska might pick him up in a late draft pick – after all, Ted Stevens is newly retired, and the slot of “scum bag politician” is still open. Plus, with that extra salary, you might be able to pick up some fresh face with a pocket full of revolution out of Georgetown or Yale.

Now hear me out, skeptics. This is what we call “bringing in the masses.” Why, you may ask, would we ever want to do such a thing? This, you may argue, is sacrilege to the Constitution and the founding fathers!

Yeah, so?

It’s a flawed system, to be sure, but one I think could potentially be of great use to this increasingly commercial country. After all, if Americans can pick their pop-stars and role models on television shows, shouldn’t we be able to pick our politicians too? Bennett Fuson is an Entertainment editor for the HiLite. Contact him at [email protected].