I received $200 worth of clothing during the last Secret Santa gathering I attended. This small convention, taking place in a basement, consisted of a diverse range of gifts from expensive apparel to cheap cardboard creations. But despite this exchange of costly and inexpensive gift-giving alike, everyone was grateful for what they had received. This sounds hard to believe, but it was a result of establishing two rules in our gift exchange: the gifts had to be homemade (although some had ignored this) and there was no budget.

Adhering to these rules, we were compelled to think creatively about what we were giving, which ultimately led to more thoughtful gifts. When you receive an expensive gift from someone, you feel pressured to give back an item worth the same or more. And before you know it, it begins to transform into an unhealthy competition of who can surprise each other with the more expensive gift, often leading to forgetting the true purpose of gift-giving.

With rising prices for holiday gifts, paired with a pressure to buy big, “giftflation” has already arrived, and it’s time to adapt. Of course, there are dozens of alternatives when it comes to treating a loved one with something meaningful while still being financially mindful. DIY crafts, cooking a meal or even mowing their lawn are good examples of purposeful expressions of love. Just be intentional. Do things that show you actually care about your significant other by taking time out of your day instead of just covering up your excuses by getting them expensive gifts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hater of expensive gifts; it just needs to have intentionality and thoughtfulness within it.

Before making a purchase, ask yourself this one question: Am I being performative, or am I being intentional? The integration of social media (mostly Instagram) has ruined our perception of what gifts are right for your significant other. It’s easy to take the shortcut and copy what everybody else is doing, but not only will this hurt your relationships, it can hurt you financially. Imagine dropping a couple bands on someone just because you want them to be impressed or just to display your wealth in front of an audience. You might realize the only reason they might be clinging on is just for the green. Always consider the intentionality of what you receive as well as what you give, because a gift ain’t a gift without love.

A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect. Sometimes, it looks like showing up to their performing arts concert, cooking them a favorite meal, helping them with a project or simply spending time together. People crave to feel understood, and the last thing you want to do is to offer up a gift with no thought behind it. Valentine’s Day is approaching, and remember that meaningful gifts are ones that show you’re paying attention, allocating time and truly caring. Now go on and demonstrate your unmatched perspicacity and indefatigably in addition to the thoughtfulness behind every gift.

The views in this column do not necessarily reflect the views of the HiLite staff. Reach Kodai Fujita at [email protected].