For senior Nikhil Gupta, being an only child hasn’t shaped his life in ways many would assume.

“I can’t think of any instance in which a teacher or an adult treated me differently because I was an only child,” Gupta said.

Gupta said he’s aware of the stereotype that only children are more privileged. However, he said has never experienced this with himself or peers.

“I do notice people expect only children to have a greater access to things because they are by themselves and not forced to split and give up things for their siblings,” Gupta said. “I wouldn’t say ‘spoiled’ would be the right word, as many kids I know who are only children are careful with what they possess and tend not to be wasteful.”

Pressure to Succeed

Melinda Stephan, college and career programming coordinator, said that birth order alone does not determine how much pressure a student feels.

“There are so many other factors that come into play that birth order or being an only child is only one piece of the puzzle,” Stephen, who is an only child, said. “Factors like personality type, socioeconomic status, and parents’ educational attainment all surely have a hand in whether and how much pressure is experienced either internally or externally.”

Gupta said he did not feel a significant amount of pressure as an only child.

“I don’t feel any unique pressure from being an only child,” Gupta said. “Some people might make a joke about being the only source of income my parents can rely on, but most of the time people don’t add an extra pressure because I’m an only child.”

Sophomore Brian Huang, who is also an only child, shared a similar experience with Gupta.

“I don’t think that being an only child really affects how I like to interact with my friends or teachers or like their expectations of me,” Huang said. “Besides a few jokes, I don’t really experience any different expectations from my peers.”

Gupta said he has the same level of responsibility as students with siblings.

“I never felt I had a different expectation put on me because of a lack of siblings. I always felt I had to do the same amount of things or had the same responsibility as my peers who did have siblings,” Gupta said.

Independence and Responsibility

Stephan said similar logic applies to independence and responsibility. 

“The fact that they don’t have siblings could lead to greater independence,” Stephen said. “On the flip side, I heard all of my life that ‘only children were spoiled and their parents did everything for them.’ That’s not my experience, but I think that there are far more variables that lead to independence and responsibility than being an only child or birth order.”

Gupta said being an only child did not affect his ability to participate in teamwork or group projects.

“I don’t feel being an only child affects my comfort level during group projects or activities that require teamwork,” Gupta said. “I never really think about the fact that I am an only child when I’m doing group work.” 

Huang expressed similar opinions. He said being an only child did not affect his ability to work with others and carry out his tasks in a responsible manner.

“In terms of a group setting or teamwork situations, I think that being an only child doesn’t really affect how I’m able to work with a team,” Huang said. “I think there are many other factors that influence it more than being an only child.”

Research supports these sentiments. A 2014 study of more than 9,000 adolescents found that only children were not different from students with siblings in physiological distress, pressure from peers, or behavior problems, showing that being an only child does not automatically affect independence or responsibility.

Stephen said that she would give only children the same advice that she would give to anyone feeling overwhelmed by expectations

“Ask for help when needed,” Stephan said. “Find a healthy outlet for stress, and break large obstacles down into smaller, more manageable steps to ease the overwhelming feelings and obtain a sense of control.”