Here it is, plain and simple: feminism is not a dirty word. For many people, the term still sparks an immediate negative response with both men and women dismissing feminists as “man-hating” or as “fema-nazis.” Somewhere along the way, the word picked up a reputation that has little to do with what it actually means. In the big 2026, feminism takes on so many different forms, so many in fact, that sometimes the very definition becomes nebulous. So what is the ultimate goal and what are we all fighting for?

At its core, feminism is about equality between all genders. It is about recognizing that gender should not and must not determine someone’s opportunities, safety, or autonomy. Looking at it from that perspective, it becomes evident that feminism doesn’t just benefit women; It really benefits everyone, no matter your gender identity. Take policies that support parental leave as an example. They don’t just help mothers; they also allow fathers to be more present in their children’s lives thereby challenging rigid gender roles. This subversion of the norm doesn’t just free women from narrow expectations but it frees men from them too. The idea that men must always be stoic, financially dominant, or emotionally distant is just as limiting as the expectation that women must always be nurturing, passive, or self-sacrificing. Feminism questions those roles, and in doing so, creates space for people to define themselves more freely.

Part of the backlash against feminism also comes from something harder to talk about: internalized misogyny. Growing up in a society with deeply embedded ideas about what gender is causes some, women included, to absorb certain assumptions about what women “should” or “shouldn’t” be. The widely recognized “pick-me girl” stereotype is a perfect example of internalized misogyny. For those who don’t know, a “pick me girl” is a girl who actively insults women and “feminine qualities” for male attention, hence the name “pick me.” These women are so universally hated, across the internet one can find various mockeries of their behaviors and tendencies, however, a problem exists on both sides of the aisle. On one hand, being a “pick me” is considered anti-feminist because it upholds patriarchal norms by pitting women against each other and devaluing femininity, but conversely, making fun of “pick me girls” and labeling them as such is reductive and a way of policing independent choices. Despite the apparent Catch-22 situation, both roles are a symptom of men and women internalizing a lopsided patriarchal system. That’s why you sometimes hear phrases like “I’m not like other girls,” or see women criticizing other women for being “too emotional,” “too ambitious,” or “too feminine.”

Internalized misogyny thrives on the idea that there is a correct way to be a woman and that deviating from it deserves criticism. Feminism seeks to push back against that idea. Feminism, for me, isn’t about forcing women into a single mold. It’s about the freedom to choose your own path without being ridiculed or dismissed for it. You can pursue a demanding career and identify as a feminist. You can stay home and raise children and still identify as a feminist. The point is not the specific choice, it’s that the choice is genuinely yours, not dictated by pressure, stereotypes, or fear of judgment. 

While I have been lucky enough as to not experience overt misogyny, it is apparent that we as a society still have a long way to go in making the system more equitable. Whether it is the ratio of girls to boys in a physics class or at a science competition, subtle jokes about someone’s clothes, or even the wage gap, the patriarchy operates in subtle ways and can only be addressed by education. 

The views in this column do not necessarily reflect the views of the HiLite staff. Reach Riva Jain at [email protected].