In a world where we’re constantly tuned in and incessantly notified, simply the idea of missing out is enough to create anxiety for many. That worry has a name: FOMO, or the fear of missing out. But there’s a counterforce to this modern gut wrenching unease, which is the joy of missing out, or JOMO. While it might sound impossible to achieve, the notion acts as a reclamation of peace in an overstimulated society. 

JOMO is the experience of contentment through the release of distress over what others are doing elsewhere. It’s the satisfaction of turning down a night out because you’d rather read or spend time with family.  It’s the knowledge that you don’t need to do everything to feel valid or happy.

Unfortunately, this mindset is a rarity in today’s society. Social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook just add fuel to the fire of FOMO. With every scroll, you see a glimpse into someone’s “perfect” life. Whether it’s a post about college admissions or a new beauty hack, often we are reminded of what could be. With teenagers spending an average of 4.8 hours daily on social media, this reminder can begin to reprogram their brains. It’s no wonder people feel a pressure to be everywhere and do everything. Even Aaron Burr wanted to be “in the room where it happened,” and that was before the influence of social media.

When doubts rooted in FOMO arise, it’s important to turn to JOMO. Ask yourself if missing out is always a loss, or if there is also a gain. Embracing JOMO doesn’t mean declining all social invitations. Rather, it’s about intentionally choosing how you spend your time. Whether that results in hanging out with friends or staying home and having a self care night, the choice is made with your best interest in mind. When conforming to FOMO, choices are made by considering everyone else but yourself. This creates unhealthy behaviors and patterns that may be difficult to overcome. JOMO offers freedom from your own thoughts and pressures. 

In the end, JOMO is all about presence. When you stop worrying about what others are doing, you start living in the moment. This presence leads to an enhanced life, with more instances of little happinesses. Regular disengagement gives your brain and spirit a needed break. I encourage everyone to catch their breath and simply find the good in missing out. Who knows, you might find joy where you were too distracted to notice it before.

The views in this column do not necessarily reflect the views of the HiLite staff. Reach Aidah Brown at [email protected].