By Mitch Ringenberg
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Every once in a while, an action movie comes out that features bad acting, laughable dialogue and almost no visible plot, but regardless, you can’t help but enjoy yourself. “Crank: High Voltage” certainly contains all of the above, however, there is little enjoyment to be had here.

The movie is a sequel to 2006’s so-so “Crank.” That movie began with hit man Chev Chelios (Jason Statham, “The Transporter” series) who is injected with a slow-acting poison that will stop his heart unless he has a constant flow of adrenaline. The rest of the film follows Chelios as he searches for the man who poisoned him while keeping up his adrenaline through various absurd methods. Sure, the film’s plot was based entirely on a gimmick, but parts of it worked, and it certainly entertained.

“Crank: High Voltage” picks up just moments after the first one left off. The plot isn’t really important, but it begins with Chelios having his heart surgically removed (against his will) and replaced with a mechanical one. Something, of course, goes wrong and now Chelios must constantly pump electricity into himself in order for his new heart to keep on beating.

One of the movie’s biggest mistakes is having to rely on yet another gimmick, not to mention one that’s almost identical to the original. In the first film, the idea was somewhat intriguing and new, but this time it just feels like a tired retread.

However, a mistake like that can be forgiven; after all, moviegoers don’t go to this kind of film for the story. It’s the film’s overly-frantic visuals and annoying characters that make “Crank: High Voltage” almost unbearable.

The original “Crank” had a somewhat interesting visual style. It was fast-paced and played out almost like a video game. This sequel tries to outdo the original in almost every category and fails, and the visuals are no exception. The film’s images come at a dizzying speed that’s headache-inducing. The visual style, rather than enhancing the film’s action, comes off as distracting and obnoxious.

The film often tries for originality by cutting away from scenes and adding in peculiar sequences. For example, a flashback to Chelios’ childhood is told in the form of a surreal game show and a climactic fight sequence is shown as a strange puppet homage to early Godzilla films. This is a style that was popularized by Oliver Stone’s “Natural Born Killers.” In that film, the visual style was unique and added a layer of depth and creepiness to the story. However, here it just seems random and only detracts from the movie.

Very rarely, if ever, have I been as annoyed by characters in a movie as I was “Crank: High Voltage.” Many of the supporting characters here serve no discernable purpose, except to scream endlessly and annoy the viewer at every opportunity. The main characters aren’t much better. Statham, usually a fun and likable leading man, is completely soulless here. Even his action sequences are lame.

The film’s worst element comes in its desperate need to shock its audience with outrageous violence. Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of movies that I love that are much more violent than this, but here it’s used simply to hide the fact that this film has nothing else going for it. The way the camera lingers and zooms in on an amputated stub, flesh wound, etc., comes off as pathetic and an obvious attempt to shock the audience. Shock value can sometimes be used to a film’s advantage and often provides a worthwhile thrill or laugh, but “Crank: High Voltage” simply does not know the definition of subtlety.

The best word to describe the experience of viewing this film would be unpleasant. Everything about “Crank: High Voltage” grates on the nerves. From its irritating soundtrack to its one-dimensional characters, this film is almost a chore to sit through. Perhaps the film’s final shot can sum it up best: moments before the credits roll, Statham moves his hand up to the camera and extends his middle finger. I’m sure most of the audience felt the same way after spending their money on this movie.

‘Crank: High Voltage