The following is a work of satire and is in no way meant to represent true events.

Apple has always been on the cutting edge of new and exciting products. Here are some of the rumored gadgets supposed to be released in the next year.

The iPad Mini Mini:

This rumored product is an iPad Mini that has been made smaller to fit inside the pocket of the user.

The iPhone Jumbo:

The iPhone Jumbo is an iPhone that has been expanded to be eight by ten inches.

The iContacts:

Apple laughs at Google’s silly attempt to succeed in the field of optical smart technology.

The iBrain:

Users may spend $570,000 to have the iBrain surgically implanted into their skulls. This may sound expensive, but when you compare it to the price of their computers, it’s barely any money at all.

The iTelephone:

Because Tim Cook thinks you’re just that stupid.

The iTaser:

A phone case that shocks you whenever a bad picture is taken. It is said that the iTaser will run Instagram out of business within four months.

 The iShirt:

The iShirt is just a white t-shirt with an Apple logo on the tag. Selling price is $325.

The iTaco:

¡El producto de Apple más sabroso jamás haya creado!

 The iCar:

Apple has now found a way to have their products literally crash.

 The iApple:

The iApple is not an Apple product; it is the Apple product. It is the height of American technology and demonstrates human innovation throughout history. When asked about the iApple, all that Apple officials would say was “The iApple thinks,  therefore the iApple is.”

The iGas Station:

Just in case you thought that gas wasn’t already expensive enough.

The iPhone 8:

The numbers 6 and 7 are just too mainstream for the Apple crowd.